Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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