whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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