the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
