i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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