WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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