She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
