I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
