physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
