And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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