yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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