thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
