Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
