He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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