Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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