well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
