shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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