ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
