I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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