this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
did i just pee glitter
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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