Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
