I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
