How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize