dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
