You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
why do cheetos always look like penises
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
