he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
