Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
