dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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