I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize