Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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