I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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