Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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