Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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