ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
