We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
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This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
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Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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