I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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