it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize