he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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