Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My bed smells like the plague
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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