you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Your cock deserves a montage
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
