hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
