Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
there's paper in my vomit.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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