the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
