So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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