I cannot find my penis.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I still have a little drunk in my system
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
