Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
