Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
