I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
