Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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