apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
