All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
