Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
