I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
