Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
No subtext here. People are naked.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
