On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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