They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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