I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
