i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Terrible idea I love it
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
