4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize