Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
