Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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