As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
