last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize