So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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