Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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