It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
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On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
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I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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