The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
