are you so shy because you have an std?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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