Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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