no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
