Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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